They love Wednesday nights, but what are they learning?

On Wednesday nights I teach the most FASCINATING combination of personalities! There 8 of them, 2 math majors, 2 English majors, 1 Biology major, 1 History major, 1 Spanish major, and one PE-Health & Fitness major--all enrolled in my section of Middle & Secondary Language Arts methods. All walks of life; some were friends before, but several were strangers. It's a tough class to teach because they are all (except the PE major) minoring in secondary ed and are required to take this course. I have to help them figure out that language arts are a natural part of any course and that integrating them throughout their curriculum is just best practice. Some are wide open to the possibility, while others are rather resistant. This group, however, does everything I ask them to do.

The problem is, they have created such a supportive community that I worry they are not learning all they should. I know I am modeling the type of caring professional I wish them to be, and I have shown them ways to integrate the language arts, as well as pretty much forced them to read some high-quality young adult literature. But had I kept them more on task (it's a 3-hour class), how much more might they have learned? Would we have lost the precious conversations we've enjoyed? Would the Biology major and the History major have astounded us with their collaborative multi-media project? Would one of the English majors have been able to return to us after her mother's death? Has all the disclosure made them better language arts teachers? In essence: AM I DOING MY JOB?

This is what I struggle with, particularly in smaller groups like this. I know they love and respect me, and that they know they are loved and respected in return. I cheer them on, I validate, scaffold, support, critique, chastise, cajole, nurture, nag. But am I doing the content justice?

EPIPHANIES

I love epiphanies…one second I’m just daydreaming away, and the next second: BAM! Epiphany pulls me from my reverie and reminds me of something tremendous that was lurking in the back of my mind. I tell you this because one such epiphany visited me in my second year at Carthage, and I still have that feeling of unmitigated joy today. A couple springs ago, I was making my daily morning trudge up the little hill from the parking lot and thinking to myself, “Hmm…if I could be anywhere right now…” The answer came instantaneously: I would be right here! Such is the nature of my life at Carthage. I don’t think I’ve ever worked harder in my life, and I love it.

Most of my life, things in academia came easily to me. It was not until my dissertation work that I actually faced struggle and frustration in school. (No, PE class does not count!) Now though, I wonder if things came easily to me because I did not get as much out of the experiences as I could have/should have.  How much more would I have learned, had I chosen to go above and beyond? It's not that I was lazy--anything but that! We Baylis and Kenny women are of good stock: strong work ethics! Like Larry the Cable Guy, we "get 'er done!"

I'm a "real" professor now. I am an assistant professor of education. I AM A PROFESSOR!! How the flip did that happen? This concept just amazes me--I'm a college professor! I'm teaching and I can't stop! I am always thinking, always revising plans in my head, always taking notes on ideas for the next time I teach the course--all sorts of behaviors that I never used when I taught special ed for 16 years. I am so blessed. Every year I fall in love with my students. Sometimes, luckily, blessedly, amazingly, they fall in love right back with me. There's an almost audible, visible hum of energy when everything clicks--I've found my way into their minds and they welcome me there! My students teach me so much more than I can ever dream of teaching them. I learn and grow every single day. And I get paid to do this. To quote The Sound of Music: "Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good!"  Good night.