When we hear about coming of age stories, they're tales of teens or pre-teens who experience life-altering events that lead them into maturity. But do we truly experience just one coming of age? Is the fabled midlife crisis actually a second coming of age? Even though nothing has changed, this past year I've been feeling like I am going through a growth spurt or something. I am 53, almost 54. I weigh more than I ever have in my life. I am a professor, which was never in my childhood dreams--I didn't even know it was an option! I have a warm, generous, loving, passionate partner husband who seems to love me unconditionally, poor guy. I spend a good deal of my waking time on the shores of Lake Michigan--a dream fulfilled! Despite fibromyalgia, weight, arthritis, and an autoimmune disease, I continue to have my health.
In essence, life should be good enough, right? Why, then, do I feel like I'm on the brink of something? Big changes ahead are what my soul says--my radar is on, I'm ready. But what on Earth...? Could it be the 3 precancerous polyp removed from my colon? Could it be that my heart decided to have atrial fibrillation and atrial flutter? Could it be that I've been in either a moon boot or an ankle brace most of the past year? Or is it this damned endless winter/spring? Perhaps I am yearning to spring free.
I have many friends who seem to have experienced Renaissance periods in their 50s and 60s, becoming poets, community leaders, composers, choir directors, and artists. Who am I going to be?
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