Someone important to someone important to me died this week. The deceased served as a role model, mentor, father figure, and best friend to someone who needed him terribly. I mourn his loss, and I am saddened that the state of our own friendship prevents me from being of any use to him in these dark days. He will say he's too busy to grieve, or at least to talk about grieving. He will say "later," his response anytime I want to talk about anything important. And knowing him as well as I do, I will simply say ok. This is how we work. Or don't work.
With Facebook I have somehow become this big discloser--can't sleep? Tell my 400 friends! Having surgery? Show everyone how funny and brave I am, and praise my nurturing husband and pets! Get my feelings hurt? Have them repaired by above-mentioned 400 friends! Need to vent? You guessed it.
But this friend doesn't tell anyone anything. As devout a Christian as he is, I'm not sure he even tells God. Where does it go, all that grief, anger, loneliness? Sometimes I think it goes inside me, even when he hasn't said a word. I am his status page, inside out and unread.
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